He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
