I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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