Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
