Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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