we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
