im six kinds of drunk right now
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
this boner is exhausting
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
