:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
