What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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