uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
