dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
