So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize
