apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
