He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
