Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
