Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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