Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
