i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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