I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
