yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
