so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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