i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
