i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
