dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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