I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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