Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
