i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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