I feel like abortions should bother me more
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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