I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize