no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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