Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You've changed since you got that strap on
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
