Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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