I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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