we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize