You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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