I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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