it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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