I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
