So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
