I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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