he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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