Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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