wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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