It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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