I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize