just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
