Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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