just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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