You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Is her dick bigger than yours?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
