Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
