Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
