Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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