ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize