i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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