his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
