operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Come on in and take your pants off
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