I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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