it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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