Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize