It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
