I have demons in me.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
