i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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